Newborn Photography

I did some FREE photoshoots this week with two adorable newborns, 14 day old Sophia and 21 day old Aiden. I wanted to help build up my portfolio for opening up Erin Steele Photography! We had a great time and got some amazing pictures, above what i ever could have dreamed. I am excited at all these great opportunities coming my way and hope it means a bright future!

My First Wedding Gig

I am hoping that this will be a vision of things to come but only time will tell...

I am really excited that my hobby could actually help support my family, being FUN in the process. They say you should go to work happy everyday and a photography job could do just that. My photoshop skills have drasticly improved over the past two weeks and i know that everytime i use it i will only get better and better. The chance to make memories last forever is priceless! My first main photoshoots over the next two months is actually going to have all proceeds donated to a family friend who is 31 with cancer. It will hopefully draw in some people and spread my name around while still doing a great thing to help a friend. I am stoked!

I am sorry my posts have been so far apart and haven't had much detail but i have been crazy busy finishing up my last semester of school. I am done in 8 weeks and have a very ful schedule until then. I just can't wait!!

Bouncing off the Walls

My son needs one of these...he was in love with it!


He wasn't so sure about the bouncy houses!

Cheese..he is ready to Bounce off the wall in this pic after sprite and some cheetos!

This is Colton.ADORABLE.

He is my friend from high school's little boy and i could just pinch his cheeks all day.

I didn't get manypics of our other friends or a group pic but we had a blast at a new warehouse with inflatables that just came to town. Today they filmed for their commercial and today we went. So my baby will be in a commercial..unpaid but that is okay we got in 1/2 price and he got free cheetos and sprite! That is a winner in my book! But he really was bouncing off the walls...until after lunch and then he was OUT!

Who's life isn't crazy busy??

I always think that we are just soooo busy compared to everyone else but i just had an epiphany...EVERYONE is busy. We all have things going on 24-7 and a million things to accomplish. It is just trying to align those things that makes life so crazy. I got a new Blackberrry recently and it has kept me updated and actually off the computer alot. Amazing what a lifesaver it has become. Also it has a planner/calendar...and i am in love. It hasn't came in handy all that much yet...but it has been loaded with all my activities until summer and i know that i have all my info in the palm of my hand. Now i just need to stop writing down everything i need to do on all 3 calendars i have at home and just use my one all important phone....

This weekend has been no exception to the rule. One of my friedns alwasy tells me i do this to myself and you know what you are right, i do. I actually love being busy...not tired but busy. I feel productive that way. Like yesterday my schedule went something like this: 6:30 alarm, 6:32 alarm, 6:34 alarm...me hitting alarm...finally i rise hearing the dogs whimpering and go to the restroom. Next 6:35-i go to Hailey's room and beg her to wake up quickly and not fight me cause she needs a bath since it has been at least two days if not more since her last one...i have no clue actually. So i run the bath and she jumps in and i tell her to hurry and she lays there sleeping in the tub. I leave her and while yelling on my way out BEG her to please hurry and wash her hair and body. 6:40-6:50 i get both dogs outside to pee in our swimming pool of a backyard but neither of them are really having it..so i get soaked and then less than an hour later have to clean up pee off the floor. 6:50 go back to check on hailey and she hasn't moved..half asleep laying under the water..so i get a tiny bit angry and get her moving up to a crawl. 6:52 i find her an outfit since i forgot to lay them out the night before and scrounge up some hairbows. 6:54 i get the toaster down and brown 4 pieces of toast for hailey. 6:57 go back and help hailey finish up her bath and beg her to get finished quickly since the bus will be here in less than 20 minutes and we are no where near ready to go. 7:00 Grant wakes up and he is horribly crabby, i hold him for a minute and change his diaper while trying to get hailey motivated to dress quickly. 7:05 i get the cold toast out butter and jelly it, give the dogs food and water all the while Grant is throwing his morning tantrum, 7:10 get hailey in the bathroom with her toast and put her hair in a ponytail and blowdry it all the best i can, 7:15 hailey is looking presentable and has eaten most of her toast while Grant has calmed down enough top realize the toast has jelly on it and he crams 2 pieces in his mouth in like a minute. 7:17 hailey starts brushing her teeth and by 7:17..and one millionth of a second she is done so i tell her to go back and get them again! About 7:19 i rush her to the door and get her jacket and gloves on as fast as i can, then quickly locate the umbrella for her while pushing her out the door. grant begs for a kiss and is happy to see sissy go! You realize if i write at this pace we won't get to the end of this day until next February!

Anyways i think you get the picture...I checked emails, took the dogs out pee and poop again, took a shower with Grant to save time, did a homework assignment, did 3 loads of laundry, one load of dishes, cleaned up dog poo off the floor, and i am sure 40 other things in the two hours before my mother-in-law showed up at 9:30 so i could go to my first class of the day. then i drove to class, weight training class...worked out like crazy, stopped at McD's then came home all by 12:30. and immediately took the dogs out again. Grant was asleep so i checked Facebook, emails, and started more assignments before Grant woke up around 1:40 and i made some yogurt/fruit/granola mix and a flatbread sandwich while sitting him in front of the tv and by 2 pm we were done eating and he had pooped. then we played for about a half an hour until hailey came home then the real caos starts. 2:40 Hailey walks in and immediately whines about how starved she is and how she must have a cookie dough blizzard(i made it for her a couple of wks ago and now she wants it every day). I say no and tell her to eat cereal or crackers or somethign like that. She whines more and ends up eating cereal. She stars fighting with Grant and making him scream and i am about to go crazy five minutes after she gets home. I set her down to start on homework and she acts like it is all forgeign to her and i have to walk her through every single step even thoguh i know she has done it all before and it is review...she sits there a good hour begging for more food after the cereal is gone and i tell her no cause dinner is comign soon...she still whines and begs. The dogs are fighting again for the 500000 time today and then they pass out in the bed together...go figure! 4:00 i try to look over more homework but i can'teven think about it cause the kids are being so crazy. Grant keeps climbing everythign and trying to get in my purse and bags...hailey just wants attention and whines about anything she can. 4:45 i take the dogs out one last time before heading to class. Amen it is 5 pm and Jason comes home from work. I tell him wat still needs to be done for the night say hi and bye quickly and head out the door...i eat and get to class around 4:45 and slide into class and try to look ove rmy notes for a sec before class. I spend the next three hours watching Dante's Peak and analyzing the volcanoes in the movie for a class assignment. After class i get gas in the rain and was so worried about the scary side of town i was on at 9 pm i forgot to put the gas cap on the car when i left. (Luckily Jason caught it almost 24 hours later after it had been raining the whole time and almost ruined the cars engine....so far it is still running though). Then i get home around 9:30 and the kids are still awake(they should have been in bed over an hour ago) and Jason is exausted..as if i am not! So i send hailey to brush her teeth while i take the dogs out pee...in the rain---you never would have guessed??) then i check the dogs food and water while starting more laundry. 9:45 i cuddle Grant for a little while until he passes out around 10ish and then i put him in bed. By then everyone else is asleep and i start on my homework, my real homework. This is my only time to get peace so this is where i take my time to really get things done. I spend the next two or so hours studying and by midnight or so i can barely function...then sleep...then at 6:30 i am pushing the snooze button again and my day starts over! This is my life and it is crazy....but i wouldn't have it any other way :)

It will be a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I am excited to be turning 30. Not because of the grey hairs or saggy boobs..but for my experiences. If i was 20 again i would be young and stupid...real stupid! and 40 just sounds OLD! But thirty seems just right!

My family is doing well. I graduate from college this year...maybe 8 years to late..but neverless i am almost finished. I am sooo much smarter than i was 10 years ago. I never knew what great things would happen to me. I have spent a HUGE portion of the past ten years at home with my kiddos. That makes me feel OLD. I picked and married my sweetheart and we have been together 10 years at the end of the month and married for 2 1/2.

We have two children who make my days very bright...except today since school was canceled. They are very crazy and full of energy making me want to pull out all my hair...maybe just all the greys.

I look forward to the next 10 years. I look forward to getting a job and helping my husband save for our family and future. I can't wait to see what awesome family vacations we can plan and how many of them our kids groan about. My son will be almost 12 and my daughter 17 when i turn gulp...40..and i can only hope we decide to have another and i can say he/she will be maybe 9-10 by then...or it will be just the four of us and i will be happy with that..i guess!

I am hoping to spend more time in church, volunteering, cooking, and spending time with my family. I hope to get really good at taking pics and learn Photoshop so i can make some extra money on the side and maybe one day make it a career!

I am hoping we can get a new(er) house in Newburgh sooner than later. Room for all of us and our extended family. I want to have all our social occassions at our house and have room to move around and enjoy it! I want to get my kids in a school district that will push them and know they are getting the best education possible. I hope in the next 10 years i will go back and complete my masters degree and take my PHR exam.

I also hope that soon i start paying closer attention to my weight and get down to a healthier size. I would love to be in a 12?-14? someday again. But my current goal is to lose 50 this year...we will see how that goes. I would like to get back down to what i weighed when i got married and then continue to lose after that. I want to be healthier in my thirties than i have been in my 20's!

I want to be a more attentive wife and mother...focus on how i can make them happy Not as much on what makes me happy...knowing i am pleasing them should make me happier (:

I want to be a better housewife. I think staying home all these years has made me slack off alot. I don't clean my house like i used to...i pick up all the time but don't get deep cleaning done very often and i really need to get back in the swing of things.

Overall i want to be a more productive person who lets people know just how much i care about them. I want to be there to support my family and friends and also to be more positive about myself. I am much more confident now than i have been in the past but i have a long way to go.

Here is to my fabulous 20's and looking forward to an even better 30's....

Happy 3 0 to me!!!

Eye Candy

Since my last post was so long your eyes burned. Here is a little eye candy!

No time

I think i say this every time i write but i have no time. I read blogs daily but when it comes to writing i just can't come up with the witty things to say that would make this interesting so i don't want to waste what precious little time i have to write a pointless paragraph. BUT here i am feeling guilty for not writing since October and having all these cool things we have done since then going unrecorded.

It has been super busy in our household with Jason working killer overtime at his semi-new job and me trying to get school work finished not just for me but for hailey also. It has been a balancing act. Hailey is still in girl scouts but we dropped her other activities until i finished school. One thing to worry about every two weeks is enough...more than that i would have been in total chaos!

I have no clue where i left off but the end of October went well. The kids dressed up like a cat and a firefighter and they were adorable. Grant started really getting into it this year. He stopped and begged for more and more candy from each person and wouldn't leave after the first peice. It was funny cause most people ended up giving him more candy just cause his begging was so adorable. Luckily, the kids wore out quickly this year and we didn't have to walk around all night. I know as hailey gets older we will be staying out later and later at night so this was a pleasant surprise.

Then November brought many new possibilities. I applied for a job and didn't get it. But the interview and experience was worth it and i know it gave me practice for when the perfect job comes around. I was sure that was the one but i wasn't ready to leave my baby boy in daycare so it worked out for the best. And since i am still finishing school, one more semester left, i like the idea of being home and having time with the kids every day!

The holidays went well and we got to see many family members the kids only see during this time of the year. It is sad cause jason's grandma is getting up there in age and we never know how long she will be around. We should really visit more often. The food was fabulous. WE or i should say Jason made our first turkey and stuffing this year and we stayed home the morning of Thanksgiving. It was delightful and soooo yummy. He did a great job and it was sweet and moist. Then i made up some green beans, homeade mashed potatoes, and orange cranberry relish(my favorite) and it was a very filling meal. We ended up celebrating Thanksgiving with my side of the family later in the week(end) and it was a MASSIVE meal that was to die for. My mom always cooks everything under the sun and like always she outdid herself. I swear she needs her own restaurant it would be booked 24-7! I won't even name all the food we had but i swear we had so much that we still have some of it in the fridge we are trying to finish up.

Then on to the holidays coming up...busy busy busy...but we are done with the kids. I don't even know what we all got them but it is a car full! That is where santa, wink, wink, has been hiding the toys from growing girls eyes who might find them and possibly not believe in santa anymore. And we can't have that happen at only 6 years old! But Santa got Hailey the coolest new Bedding..it is adorable.

It is Aqua and yellow huge flowers with black accents on a white background. Then the sheets are black, aqua, and yellow polka dots....so cute! Online it was sorta bold for me but once we got it here it is much more reasonable colors-i usually go more sweet pink girlie stuff but this is perfect for a growing girl and will last into her teens if she likes it that long! Also we got some different dolls for her, a guitar, and some artsy things.

Grant got a DRUM set and some other toys but for the life of me i can't remember anything else...but it was a ton of stuff. We still have some clothes and stocking stuffers to get them but overall they are done. I am going this friday to get the rest of the shopping done for everyone else in the family. We got our tree done last week and it turned out perfect with our new LED lights on it. They look great and are saving us a fortune in electricity.

In other news, Grant is having some amazing progress. His speech is coming along nicely and his volabulary is booming-he is repeating many things. He says mommy, daddy, ball, baby, elmo, puppy, dog, and some others. He can sing along and say part of "happy birthday to you" and "the ABC's" but mainly he is just getting the syllables without the proper words but he is trying. He is still doing some sign language and says please, drink, apple consistently but we haven't been using it as much since he is picking up on words more and more. He still yells and grunts when frustrated but overall he has been much more consistently using words or pointing instead.

We are getting ready to have his 6 month checkup and review this month. I have asked that they switch him from a developmental specialist to a speech therapist as soon as possible to push him more on speaking properly. I know how important it is to get this done in his early years but we will see if they will go for it. Originally we had said sometime after his second birthday or closer to summer when he has his one year review but i just don't know if the developmental therapy focuses enough on the speech to really be doing good. Personally i think most of his effort is what he is doing at home not his therapist.

Also Grant has been potty training. NOT by my choice but his own. He loves to sit on the potty and goes everytime he sits either #1 or #2 or both. For over two months now he has been starting to go consistently every day. Sometimes we only sit once a day and sometimes we go numerous times just depending on if i remember or he asks. He will touch his diaper like he has peed or try to take his pants off himself. So i ask him and he usually says yes! Over the past week or so he even wants toilet paper and wipes front and back. AWESOME. So we are just casually encouraging him now and plan on pushing it this spring after his birthday. How cool would it be to have my two year old potty trained..woohoo!!

Another big development that just happened in the past month is Jason's sister getting engaged. It was so sweet. They just bought a gorgeous house in Newburgh and he proposed the day of their housewarming party. It was so awesome seeing him so nervous and her so excited. They are having the wedding in May so it isn't much time to plan. Actually the date is May 30th. She asked me Wednesday if the kiddos would be in the wedding and i am so honored to say yes!! We went last night and tried on dresses for hailey and we found the perfect one. It is knee length and with a poofy skirt..very grown up and fun. Hailey felt like a princess. Her colors are tiffany blue but maybe a little lighter, diamond white(sorta creamy), and pale pale pink...so the girls dresses will be that blue with a cream ribbon on the waist. I am loving it. I still haven't seen Kristy's dress and i am dying to see it on her. She will be a beautiful bride.

It is outside at the Roofless church and then the reception is at the Grainery. What a cool place for a wedding. It will be so fun. Also it is right before Jason and my anniversary so that will be special.

Some last tidbits before getting off here and doing something productive. I finally got my photoshop cs3. I haven't even had time to open it really but it looks complicated. I am going to try and do tutorials and learn one thing at a time. I can't wait to put the pics into there and see what cool effects i can come up with. Also we are still undecided about the possible addition of another baby to the family. We are in limbo. I really really want one more baby. Like dying for another but Jason is unsure. I am hoping that over the holidays we can decide for definite our plans and either go ahead and start trying (: or get rid of our baby stuff and more on.

I am unsure i am comfortable moving on but i want Jason to want this and be comfortable with another baby...i don't want him just to go along with it cause i want one. he has to want another baby too! he did say last time we talked that he would love a Christmas baby...so you never know what can happen. I think he is going into this with an opened mind mainly for me. He knows how much i have always wanted a large family. I used to always say i wanted ten kids in high school then reality hit. We can't afford ten but i know we can afford three and our hearts have plenty of room for one more child. I would love for Grant to have a little brother to plan with and grow up with or another little girl for us to dote on...i have always dreamed of a house full of children and grandchildren(someday)!!

Smoking and children

I am a past smoker. I understand the urges that smokers have. I understand how smokers feel like they need to smoke 24-7. I truly do understand....BUT i also feel like our children have the right to clean air--- as do people like myself who are non-smokers! So days like today make me very, very frustrated! Let me start at the begininng...
My biggest pet peeve is going to a public place and having someone blow smoke in my child's face. I try to aviod situations like this at all costs. Days like today make me wish i was a lawmaker and could make cigarette's illegal. During the Halloween season??if that is a word...we usually have lots of local events that are great experiences for our kids. Ways to get out and do some trick-or-treating in a very public place with hundreds of children present. Usually these activites last between 1-4 hours and have places away from the main events for smokers to go and enjoy a cigarette if them must, but many of them have signs that strictly say NO SMOKING!!!! Very clearly shown...
Today unfortunately there was not a sign but there was 1000000000000000 (i think you get the picure) children. It was our mainstrees trickor treating downtown. We have never been before and will never go again. EVERYONE was smoking all crowded down this narrow street in front of all these small children. There was no where else for us to go to get away from them.
The worst part was one lady behind us whom i did not realize was smoking was holding her cigarette down towards the ground.
Sure enough Grant was walking around(within two feet from me)..since we had to wait in lines an hour long..and the woman almost burnt his face with it cause she wasn't paying any attention. Luckily it was only ashes on his costume and on his hair but i was livid. I made a comment a little loud that it would be polite if people would not smoke at an event where lots of children were located so incidents like this did not occur. The women had the nerve to give me a lecture on her rights and how i should be watching my child better. Then her friend kept saying i better walk away..like she wanted to fight. I got very frustrated and almost left at that point...it was crazy, i am like this is a kids event-we are adults-fight-are you crazy-that is so high school!!! They didn't even apologize instead just acted rediculous abou the whole incident. Within about 10 minutes it seemed like every person we encountered smoked so we ended up leaving.
I guess i just don't understand why you can't go an hour without smoking. Even when i smoked i have a little consideration for others who didn't smoke. I think it is all about manners and thinking about others over yourself. I was so frustrated. Do you think i overreacted? What would you have done? Would it bother you to have your kids around all that smoke, why or why not?

Today is the day my son must grow up!

I hear him scream and i hate it but i must let him go...i know it sounds mean BUT he bit off two nipples yesterday and i decided it was to dangerous to let him have another bottle ever again. He had been starting to bite little cracks in them but never before had he bit the top completely off, TWICE!

Hailey was never addicted to bottles like he is so at 1 year old we switched her to a sippy cup without much of a transition. But with Grant i have babied him...partially cause he was so little and sick around the year old mark and partially cause he is my baby and he begged for them, so i gave in.

Well today is a transition for us both. He still has a sippy cup full of milk in his bed but it is not a soothing bottle...i don't think that is enough. I am fighting hte urge to run to target and buy up more nipples and just chance him doing in again....he is still screaming after 35 minutes of laying in bed! I am praying for some peace for him and me.

I know my little boy is growing and he isn't so little anymore, he is a toddler. I know i must let go of my need to keep him little and let him grow and learn! I also know that it is just as much my need to make him happy as it is his need to take a bottle for comfort.

Holy moly.......the crying has just stopped.

Has God heard and answered my prayed...i think he did!

Woohoo...our first nap bottleless....

How many faces can you make??

I think these speak for themselves.

BUT. BUT. BUT

I have been starting the dreaded job hunt...well sorta...i am getting antsy to start my career. I have applied for a few select jobs that look perfect. Our goal is to wait until next Summer/Fall when i finish school, to then start back Full-time, but if an opportunity comes i will take it! I want to work so bad but i also want to be home with my kiddos. I wish life was that easy where i didn't have to go to school or work.

BUT. I wish i could just play with my kids all day and be there for every new milestone. I have been home for seven years and i feel the timer slowly ticking down and i am scared. I am scared that my future employers won't want a stay at home mom/student almost in her thirties...who is just starting to work outside of the home. I am worried i haven't networked or volunteered enough and that no one will want me. I worry that i don't have time for an internship and that the lack of experience will deter many new possible opportunities.

BUT i know i have done my best. I know that i have been working hard 24-7 trying to balance my home and school life. I have gotten good grade, volunteered my eyeballs out, and enjoyed keeping busy with my family. I am dedicated to finding a job that wants me as much as i want them and in return i will give them my soul. I am a hard worker. I am willing to do what it takes to get the work done right. I can do anything!!!

BUT.BUT.BUT. I am still nervous. I am still scared. Not as much about working, but about leaving my family. I like taking my kids to school. I like volunteering for PTA and seeing Hailey with her friends and teachers. I like helping Hailey with her homework and making her an afternoon snack. I like giving Grant a bottle and putting him down for a nap...so that when he wakes up i am the person who can see his happy little face. I like meeting Hailey at the bus stop and seeing Grant's excitement knowing she is home and hers knowing we are there to see her. I just like spending every minute possible with my kids. I don't want someone else raising them!!

BUT. I am having a major complex about what to do with Grant when i go back to work. Do i do a Daycare, Preschool, Grandparent...what are my options??? I don't trust others with my children. Especially the daycares...i worked there i know to much...i like preschools especially our churches but i would still need part-time care from someone. My mother-in-law is retiring in December but i have no clue if she would want to watch him for a year or two??? I don't want to shove the burden on a family member..unless she wants too do it!

BUT. Another completely different issue revolves around the idea of having another baby. I desperately want another.. Jason has said that he "MIGHT" be fair game but that he wants it done soon. That would mean that if we decided to try for another we would most likely be pregnant, very pregnant, during my job hunt. Yeah, that should go over great with a new employer! And then i need to find childcare for a new infant which is even harder for me to fathom....i raised my first two and swore i would never use daycare for any of my children under two years old...so what then??

BUT. I think i am off on a tangent. But the point is that i am freaking out a bit. I am torn. I am sad. I am happy. I want to work BADLY. I want to stay home even more badly!! I am just confused and optimistic. I know it will all work out in its own time. Right??

What has Grant been doing??

Uh Oh! Mom caught me playing with the tackboard! I better get away and fast.
I didn't do it!

Awww mom another picture!

Do you care if i take the car for a spin real quick??

Grant has been a handful lately. He is contantly on the lookout for another gadget to play with or something more interesting than what he is supposed to have. He does not like any of the 10 billion toys we have here but loves tvs, remotes, playstation 3 controllers, x-box buttons, computers, laptops, cell phones, lasers, flashlights, microwaves...i think you get the picture!

In addition to embarass my son in the very distant future he is in love with lipstick. The child would wear my lipgross or lipstick every minute of every day. He knows where it is and if he can't get it he wil get in his sisters drawer and get hers. He also loves all my lotions and hair products. Unfortunately he doesn't know the difference so many times hair gel is covering his legs or lotion is in his hair. Hmmm...at least he likes to look and smell good, right?

He is doing well in his speech therapy. I think his therapist likes to talk to me more than work with him but overall he loves her and has a great time "playing" with her. She is actually a developmental specialist so she works on all areas with him not just speech. He loves all of her toys since they aren't ours. He has said a couple of words with her and seems to be making baby steps worth of progress. Lately i haven't noticed a huge difference in vocabulary but alot more humming along with things and trying to do the different changes in pitch sounds have.

He had his 6 month check-up with Dr. Logan-Ear, Nose, and Throat Dr., this morning and he said he is doing great and tubes are still in place. He said that is good with Winter approaching and in six months we will check to see if they are still in place. He said they might come out before that but you never know. I am hoping they stay in as long as possible so we don't have to worry about those darn ear infections for awhile if ever.

Other than that he is growing well. We have his 18 month check-up next week even though he is going on 20 months old. Long story but basically with the change of insurance it pushed us back a month then i totally missed his apt last month...never done that before but schedule was so full i just overlooked it, woops!!! I am excited to see where he is on the growth chart. He has ben running aroung the 20% for height and 50% for weight until now so we will see....i would like for him to be aoud the 50th for both weight and height but i doubt it.

I ended up having to go and buy him smaller clothes for this winter becuase everything i bought last year is enormous on him. He is just barely wearing 12-18 month pants...most are to big on him in the waist and around an 18-24 month shirt. Hailey was wearing all 2-3T clothes at his age...not that i want him to grow or anything. Also he doesn't look scrawny or anything. He looks healthy and normal and that is exactly how we want him.

He was but is no longer a very good eater. He has ben just picking at his meals for the most part.
I think he has realized that snacks come after meals and he likes snacks. So i have been starting to introduce less snacks and give him less milk and reoffer lunch to him if he doesn't eat it. I think it is working a little. Guess we will see what happens!