Ms. Smarty Pants

4 down, 12 to go!

Okay i am sooooo happy this week is over...as the semester gets harder and more things are due i am even more overwhelmed than before. But i have had my tests spread out which helps considerable..hopefully it will stay that way. The assignments on the other hand ar just gaining in momentum. I need more time in a day! I had a friend drop our humanities class because of the amount of work and difficulty leaving me to fend for myself...yuck! The class sucks bad enough without someone to struggle with me..hehe...anyways i have survived 1/4 of the semster. It goes so fast! Hopefully the rest will pass by as quickly!

3 down, 13 to go!!

I am starting to get overwhelmed and am so busy..the electricity being out last week set me back on my studies! I am happy my tests are spread out which gives me a little leeway? on what i need to get done but the reading is overwhelming. I will be lucky if anything this semester sticks beyond the test! It is sad because i really want to learn it all but it just won't happen. Every weekend from now through the end of the month we have 1-2 things planned. That makes my school work end up getting crammed in the small spaces throughout the week or very late at night! Sleep is a thing of the past! Just keep reminding me it is only 13 more weeks..i can do this!!!

2 weeks down, 14 to go!!

I have decided to start a countdown to school being out for the semester. I have been so overwhelmed by the amount of homework and reading, i am reassuried just to know another week has passed, i am still alive!!

With the next two months being jam packed with numerous activities. Every weekend has at least one or two things going on. Normally it is Jason doing things but the next two months it is all me! I feel almost guilty having him home with the kids so much..but really how is that different that me being home with the kids?? It isn't!! Then again that is what i am used to. I already miss my kiddos so much.

Hailey went to my moms for the weekend and i miss her..i mean i reall really miss her...i haven't really seen her all week. I haven't just sat down and read to her for two weeks or even just relaxed with her. Maybe that is why this weekend will be so special for her. Grandma always makes time for the little things. She gives her lots of one on one! Hailey needs it...she has been begging for attention but i can't get behind on school this early in the game! It has to be 100% or nothing at all. I have invested so much already... for the nothing at all route!

Someday hailey will understand all i have sacrificed..and maybe even what she has missed out on...just to make our future brighter. I hope she sees that this will make our life easier in the future. It will give me a better paying career that will give me the opportunity to spend more time with her. We can take family vacations and she can take lessons in whatever she wants! One more year of sacrifice is so little in the grand scheme of things. I am sure to her it is a lifetime of waiting. Normally i am so good at stoping what i am doing and just spending some time with her but lately it has been limited.

I have been just grabing her after school and cuddlingher for a minute and telling her just how much i love her. I want her to know how important she is to me. I have tried to explain my reasoning for being so busy but how much really stays with a 5 year old! I am unsure. I just count down the days and weeks and pray for every day off and break to spend with my husband and children to love and cuddle them. I want them to know how much i appreciate their support through my crazy school life!

Busy busy busy

Okay school has me going crazy..i have around 12-15 chapers to read for my 5 classes, i have at least 3 papers to write, and two discussion boards to post to....all due this coming up week....my life has now become a juggling act to figure out what is important. Sleep going to the other end of the scale and being reduced to about 5-5:30 hours at night if my son stays sleeping through the night, if not then you can take another 1/2 hour to 1 hr. off that time! Sleep is overrated right!! Gotta go get a shower before my son wakes up..i am wasting precious minutes i could be studying!

My school starts back next tuesday

I am not looking forward to going back to school this fall...it is a week away and i usually look forward to it... sorta...but this time i just feel like i am going to miss so much! With hailey being in school all day i feel like i am short changing her..also i barely see jason already with our crazy schedule..and grant is just a baby and needs his momma..i will only be gone about two-three hours before he goes to sleep but that is alot! I am the one who feeds him and puts him to sleep every night! I hate missing that special us time! He is going to be doing so much over the next couple of months..crawling..then walking..talking..ect...if i miss any of those first i will go crazy! I know this is what i asked for when going back to school and know i only have one more year of this then i am done..but looking back i wonder why i didn't do this in the first place?? Why was i so scared of an university?? I never should have left there when i was younger..for all the years of schooling i have i could have became a doctor by now but instead....don't get me wrong i love my life and my children and the path i have taken there but schooling should have been a priority!!

I know God has led me through this path and this was the way he chose for me but sometimes i wonder why i couldn't have had it easier!! I beleive i have wonderful things in my life and the best is yet to come and just keep wondering when i won't have to worry so much about how to buy groceries, formula, diapers...when we can rest easier that paying for our children's college will happen! I have always been a worry wort and always will be but i am a damn hard worker and know i can do wonderful things and won't stop to reach my goals but at the same time i won't sacrifice to much family time to get there! My husband and children need me..and i need them..support is key! I am just praying i can make it through these five classes without having to much of a headache and still have some time for my family and the things i love! I know it is going to be draining and lots of work to keep up my grades but i have decided that straight A's is not that important to me anymore. I need to be realistic and know that i canget B's and it wont affect anything....i will still graduate...but i will have had more time with my family during thew times that they need me!

Hailey has 1 week of kindergarten down!

It was a hard morning. Hailey was still so worn out from having to get up so early and just not quite ready for another day at school. She cried and didn't want me to leave. I almost cried but held it together. I hate leaving her while she is crying. I don't feel right..i am her mom and want her to know i will always be there for her. I don't like sneeking out when she is not looking! I just keep picturing her little tears and frown and her chasing me down the hall saying, "mommy don't go"!! It was one of the hardest things i have ever done. Had it been daycare i wouldn't have left but i know that she has to go to school and i need to make her understand that.

She has been laying down by 8-8:30 and asleep within 1/2 hour. Next week I am going to try to get her to bed before 8 pm and that way she gets an extra 1/2 hour to hour every night which should drastically improve her mood next week. The nights are so busy that it is hard to get everything done in time to have her in bed by 8:00! Also she likes to fall asleep watching tv so i have ben turning the timer on for 30 minutes and she has been asleep before the timer even goes off.

Her teacher said she is doing very well and said hailey was her big helper all week. Her teacher also said she seems to be really ahead academically and behaviorally. I am so happy to hear that but at the same time i hope she is pushed hard enough to excel and not get bored. (When i was in the evansville school system for a year then went back to castle i was so behind and i don't want the same thing to happen to her)Her teacher says staying at home with your children is so much better than having them in preschool/daycare! I loved hearing the reinforcement and knowing i am doing the right thing staying home with the kiddos. I know hailey will be fine and is strong but i miss her so-so much! I hate the idea of me having to go back to school in a couple of weeks..it is really going to limit my time with her. I just hope that i can spend all my extra time giving her the attention she needs and not spending all my time on housework and chores!

Here are some pictures of her first day of Kindergarten! She was so proud of herself and looked so gorgeous..i swear with the poses she comes up with, she is gonna be a model! Gorgeous darling!

Hailey's 1st Day of Kindergarten

Well the dreaded day has came and gone with only minor problems. She survived and so did i! I am usually the crying type but it wasn't very hard to let her go to school..then again she didn't freak out which helped alot! She has came home the past two days very content and almost nonchalant. Her teacher is great and seems so sweet. Hopefully she is as good of a teacher as she seems like she can be.

I finally figured out how the lunch money thing works...the web site says you can pay online but once i got my account set up it didn't work so i ended up calling and talking to the cafeteria staff and they won't have it set up until October..which sucks. I hate giving her money to take to school. I guess i can just pay up a couple of months at a time and not have to worry about it so frequently. I bought her a lunch box and thought i would have her bring her lunch occassionally but for as cheap as lunch is (only $1.50 per day)we won't do it very often. Hailey will probably eat the lunch offered by the school than the stuff i would pack. At zoo camp i spent a fortune getting her 100% juice, fresh fuit, crackers, a sandwich and a snack...and many days she would barely eat anything! It would be wasted and thrown away...i would much rather her eat at school less work for me..that is alwasy a good thing!

School clothes..they don't have any regulations. I expected a full list of dont's and there arent any. She can wear flip-flops or anything else for that matter. Luckily i asked and found out the days she has gym so i can put t-shoes on her. I guess so many things i think are important really are not. Also, what happened to sports in elementary school? I can't find anything about them on their site...is it only for the older kids? I was hoping she could play something this year but it doesn't look like there is anything for her to play! Maybe they never had kindergarten sports but i know i played volleyball in elementary school. The site hasn't been updated either. Her teacher's email isn't on the site anywhere she isn't even listed under the kindergarten teachers. I guess they haven't updated it at all for the year. I should volunteer some time and help them get it up and running..they are behind! I hope to joing the PTA also..i am excited about it but don't know when i am going to make it to the meetings. I have class at nights and can't do both. I might have to miss class and at least go to some of them. I want to be active in her school life and help out however i can! I hate being left out! She is growing up too fast!I on the other hand have been pacing the house looking for things to do and watching cartoons by myself or at least listening to them! I have gotten some of the daily housework caught up and hope to start on some deep cleaning. I have so much free time now since grant is taking better naps(he slept for almost 3 hours this morning). And on the days i have my daycare kids they usually take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon...wow...what to do???