My school starts back next tuesday

I am not looking forward to going back to school this fall...it is a week away and i usually look forward to it... sorta...but this time i just feel like i am going to miss so much! With hailey being in school all day i feel like i am short changing her..also i barely see jason already with our crazy schedule..and grant is just a baby and needs his momma..i will only be gone about two-three hours before he goes to sleep but that is alot! I am the one who feeds him and puts him to sleep every night! I hate missing that special us time! He is going to be doing so much over the next couple of months..crawling..then walking..talking..ect...if i miss any of those first i will go crazy! I know this is what i asked for when going back to school and know i only have one more year of this then i am done..but looking back i wonder why i didn't do this in the first place?? Why was i so scared of an university?? I never should have left there when i was younger..for all the years of schooling i have i could have became a doctor by now but instead....don't get me wrong i love my life and my children and the path i have taken there but schooling should have been a priority!!

I know God has led me through this path and this was the way he chose for me but sometimes i wonder why i couldn't have had it easier!! I beleive i have wonderful things in my life and the best is yet to come and just keep wondering when i won't have to worry so much about how to buy groceries, formula, diapers...when we can rest easier that paying for our children's college will happen! I have always been a worry wort and always will be but i am a damn hard worker and know i can do wonderful things and won't stop to reach my goals but at the same time i won't sacrifice to much family time to get there! My husband and children need me..and i need them..support is key! I am just praying i can make it through these five classes without having to much of a headache and still have some time for my family and the things i love! I know it is going to be draining and lots of work to keep up my grades but i have decided that straight A's is not that important to me anymore. I need to be realistic and know that i canget B's and it wont affect anything....i will still graduate...but i will have had more time with my family during thew times that they need me!