I have decided to start a countdown to school being out for the semester. I have been so overwhelmed by the amount of homework and reading, i am reassuried just to know another week has passed, i am still alive!!
With the next two months being jam packed with numerous activities. Every weekend has at least one or two things going on. Normally it is Jason doing things but the next two months it is all me! I feel almost guilty having him home with the kids so much..but really how is that different that me being home with the kids?? It isn't!! Then again that is what i am used to. I already miss my kiddos so much.
Hailey went to my moms for the weekend and i miss her..i mean i reall really miss her...i haven't really seen her all week. I haven't just sat down and read to her for two weeks or even just relaxed with her. Maybe that is why this weekend will be so special for her. Grandma always makes time for the little things. She gives her lots of one on one! Hailey needs it...she has been begging for attention but i can't get behind on school this early in the game! It has to be 100% or nothing at all. I have invested so much already... for the nothing at all route!
Someday hailey will understand all i have sacrificed..and maybe even what she has missed out on...just to make our future brighter. I hope she sees that this will make our life easier in the future. It will give me a better paying career that will give me the opportunity to spend more time with her. We can take family vacations and she can take lessons in whatever she wants! One more year of sacrifice is so little in the grand scheme of things. I am sure to her it is a lifetime of waiting. Normally i am so good at stoping what i am doing and just spending some time with her but lately it has been limited.
I have been just grabing her after school and cuddlingher for a minute and telling her just how much i love her. I want her to know how important she is to me. I have tried to explain my reasoning for being so busy but how much really stays with a 5 year old! I am unsure. I just count down the days and weeks and pray for every day off and break to spend with my husband and children to love and cuddle them. I want them to know how much i appreciate their support through my crazy school life!
1 comment:
Don't feel guilty for going to school. It makes you a better mom to allow yourself to still be the person you want to become outside of being a mom. I envy you so much for going to school. I would love to go back but we just can't afford it, but then I think we can't really aford me not to go back. I really doubt I ever will go back. So go for it and try to enjoy it. Hailey will be very proud that her mom went back to school to better your family. When the time comes for her to go to college she will look at you as a role model to see what is possibly even if she is facing adversity. Good Luck and try not to feel so bad. Your kids know you love them and everyone else knows your great mom.
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